Hair dilemma

Oh I blogged. Again

I haven't blog for ages and suddenly I blog again. And blog abt many other shits not beauty. I guess because I'm a many-faces-girl, I just can't stick with one thing and called me beauty blogger or fashion blogger. For the past few months I was very stressful, not only because of uni stuff but I found myself really down, I just hate doing EVERYTHING, even eating or watching movies - two things that I could do until I die and only stop if food and movie suddenly disappear. I lived like an useless person, wasting oxygen and spaces. 

And I back with a totally new ME. Like I had sleep for 1 thousand years and finally wake up. I'm not a princess and there is no charming prince, it's more like a devil finally wake up.

But you can sure that I'm still not a bitch, not yet.

So the introduction is just my explanation about why I stopped blog for quite long time. 

I want to talk about my hair. My sweet, precious hair.

I'm not lucky I wasn't blessed with pretty face and so-so body. God or whoever made me was kindly give me a brain of an artist and such a clear mind that I thank him everyday, but totally unfair on my appearance. Maybe he felt guilty so he gave me something that other pretty skinny bitch would die for. One of them is my hair.

I have a beautiful thick, shiny and healthy hair since I was born. My mom said that I was born with many hair that long enough to cover all over my face. I always wonder what did my doctor think when he saw me... like "shit we have a baby with hair on her face here! oh wait it's just hair on her head thank my fucking god etc". Look how cute I was at 4 years old :

That amount of hair is freaking crazy I don't know how I could handle them all. Oh and I have great eyebrows since I was a kid.

Unfortunately I was too young and green and people around me include other kids and adults was sooooo cruel to made fun of me as a "big fat kid" than a kid with gorgeous hair and fair skin. Guess people are all envy bitches or because my innocent and soft personality gave me this. That's a thing I fucking hate about Asian people, they just can't find any kind word to talk about other people even if that's your friend or an innocent kid, image if I wasn't a crazy kid who didn't give a shit about what people said, what if I became emo and hate myself. They live their life but never forget to destroy other's life because of nothing. That's suck.

Oh yeah then I never ever care about my hair. I feel sorry for it! I just came to hair salon for very first time when I was 17! Before that my mom do my hair at home, when it's become too long she would cut it very short because no matter how short it is it still grow back very fast.When I graduated from high school, the very first thing I do ( except giving my high school a middle finger) is jump to hair salon and ask to color it and never stop doing it since ever. I don't like my hair black I always feel better with lighter hair. My hair is shinier after dyeing though.

But my biggest mistake is PERM it. Ok I'll be honest the first time it's still good, but for my craziness I permed it again after just 3 months. That's enough and my loyalty lovely hair decided to gave up on me. Now at least 15cm end of my hair is like DEAD. Wtf did I do with it. I'd do everything to have my old hair back. I never ever have it straightened, but I did exact same shit as getting it curly because I thought my natural wavy wasn't enough. Before that I only use shampoo and didn't even need conditioner (see how AWESOME it was?) but still got the hair that all my friends in UK raved about it (such a different from cruel Vietnamese ppl). Now, shampoo, conditioner, hair mask, treatment, serum... - all make my hair a lot better but still, thing will never be the same. Fuck me.

Last week I thought that what if I cut my hair short, like take all the dead part off? Getting a shoulder length like Lena Fujii isn't a bad ideas and I haven't have short hair for long long time. I washed my hair and was already holding a scissor and was ready to cut it @_@ Thank God that I was wonder what kind should I cut then googled Lena pictures. And I realized that I'm not her - the mixed goddess who look beautiful with everything they put on her, like so :

She used to be bullied in high school because of racist but in my opinion ugly bitches couldn't stand such a beauty like her. See, this society can't stand people who are not mainstream ones.

Ok after taking a look at my old pictures, I decided that I won't never look good with shorter hair, that make me look older. I stick with my long hair now. The perm is fading away and even my hair look like shit but that's ok, I can bear this hard time. This is how my hair now, I covered my eyes because it's in hilarious situation and I don't dare to show you. Also sorry for after seeing beautiful Lena you have to see my face. Just like fall from heaven to the ground, I understand that feeling, you are not alone.

What's hairstyle are you having now? x